Yes, But...

June 27, 2011


So often I hear people (including myself), say things like: "I would love to do this, but ..."

I do not mean those times where we are just being polite while making a good excuse to avoid something we don't want to do. I am talking about those times where we really mean that there is something we would love to DO, BE or HAVE, but we can't because of whatever reason; those times there is a hint of frustration in our statement.

The tendency for many is to maintain the Status quo, stay in their comfort zone, avoid taking risks and resist change by making excuses (they don't have enough money, they don't have enough time, they are not good enough, it is not in their nature, their family would not approve of it, etc. .. the list goes on and on) I don't mean to say the excuses don't feel totally real to the subject, more often than not, they are indeed perceived as very real, and thus frustrating.

But if we feel trapped or frustrated in our life, because it is not the way we would like it to be, we need to DO something about it, it is worth the effort and the time, since we only have ONE life to live, unless you believe in reincarnation, and even then, we have to make every life matter, right?

You may feel you have no choices, but you always do, and if you take the first step toward this outlook, you will be surprised at how things unfold. There is a great simple exercise that can be the starting point, I highly recommend it:

Eliminate complaining and whining from your thoughts and your words, here is how you can do it:

When you start mentally complaining or talking about what is wrong in your life, dismiss the thought/words or stop them by telling yourself "NEXT" think of this as a little "bell" to bring you back on track. DO NOT dwell on those thoughts because that is how you get stuck. Instead think about what you are grateful for or about something you can do to change things. Here are a few examples:

  • You start thinking: "I don't make enough money, I will never be able to buy the house I want" You mentally tell yourself NEXT, and then think about a good thing you have, like "at least I have a job and I can look for a better one".

  • Here is another example: You think: "I am getting old, my body is not the same" say NEXT, and then think about something you can do "I can eat more greens and find time to do a little exercise"

  • Maybe you are thinking of something you have no control of: "I am so miserable my best friend moved out of town", OK, you can't change that, but you can think about something you can change : "I will go visit her soon, I will make new friends" or something you are grateful for: "thank God for telephones and internet, we'll keep in touch".

So if you are able to mentally replace a negative: whining and complaining though with a positive counter thought , you are on your way to developing the state of mind that will in turn help you achieve your goals and blossom. If you have any doubts about how important your thoughts can be, please read my very first issue: Paying Attention to your Thoughts.

Don't stay in the gloom!, there is nothing good that can come of it NOTHING!!! Believe me, I have made great efforts to fight my negative nature, and it is possible, it is worth it and by the way, it is NOT living in denial or in a dream, it is changing your outlook on life in order to change your life for the better, it works!!!!

Give it a try! at first it will be a conscious choice and you may need to work at it, but the more you do it, it becomes second nature and one day you will not even realize you are doing it, but your thoughts will be brighter, your mind will be clearer and your words will be pleasant. People around you will also be thankful and you will attract new people to you (which in turn may lead to great new opportunities, friendships, and more good things!). You have a lot to win and really, nothing to loose!

So, let go of all the whining and complaining! and you will soon have no excuses to shine.

Have a wonderful week!

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