Finding Balance between Giving and Receiving

January 4th, 2012

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and I wish you a Happy New Year filled with joy, good health, love, and peace!


In reflecting on this past Christmas and all the gift giving and sharing that happens during this holiday, I started reflecting on our capacity to give and receive from others, and how important it is to find a true balance between both.

However, I am not talking here about giving and receiving material gifts only, but rather about the many exchanges that happen on a daily basis between all human beings, as we are constantly giving and receiving (time, compliments, gifts, advice, love, etc.)

More often than not, people have a problem with their ability to receive, because while the concept of "giving" is associated with positive notions (honorable, generous, praiseworthy, etc), that of "receiving", in contrast, is often associated with negative notions (selfish, arrogant, self-centered, etc.), and even if we don't realize it, these connotations may influence our behavior at a subconscious level.

Giving and receiving are two opposite energies and there needs to be a fair balance between them. All of us need to be nurtured in order to be able to give. However, this nurturing can only come to us to the extent that we are able to receive it, and it can come in many forms: appreciation, validation, love, understanding, etc.

Just to cite a common example: some people are incapable of receiving a compliment, they would immediately dismiss it as an exaggeration, a misunderstanding, or even as a joke or a mockery, instead of just saying "thank you".
When we have an inability to truly receive, there comes a point were we can become depleted, overwhelmed and frustrated.

I invite you to think about all the "gifts" (help, appreciation, praise, money, etc.) that you may not be allowing into your life, either because you think you are unworthy of them, or because you are too proud to receive them, or because you feel guilty about receiving them, you feel it is not right.

All of us will most likely find instances in which we are not able to openly receive, thus, it is important to remember a few things:

  • We are ALL worthy of receiving good things
  • Receiving openly what comes to us, does not rob others from it
  • There is a great degree of satisfaction in giving, so allow that satisfaction to those who choose to give to you
  • We are not to judge if we deserve it or not, if someone else thinks we do, we should be thankful and accept it.
  • Show people your appreciation when they do something for you, let them know it makes a difference, that way you will also encourage them to give and do good!

So, allow yourself to truly receive and embrace all the good things that come your way!

And, when it is your turn to give, you should do so with conviction, and not by obligation. There is a great joy from giving from the heart, from showing people that you care, but if you give because you feel you "have to" it won't have the same meaning. The good news is, if you find a true balance between giving and receiving, you will always give from the heart and you will always have lots to give, because you will feel nurtured.

If your "tank" is full, you have a lot to give, but If you are empty, there is nothing you can give, so allow yourself to receive and fill up your tank!

There are many gifts you can give people around you on a daily basis: a helping hand, a kind word, a flower, a hug, the time to listen to them, etc. and do not hesitate to give whenever you can, to whomever you can, it doesn't matter if you know them or not.

One of my favorite things to give is just a SMILE! something as simple as a smile takes NO time, it costs NOTHING and it can mean a LOT to the person who receives it.

Have a great week!
A Wonderful Year 2012!!!

And don't forget to SMILE!


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